July 2017 God dished out 3 BIG life changes to me:
- Pregnancy with our beautiful boy Everette Lyle Lindsay
- Fitness instructor certification through Barre3
- Resignation from my job as a Campus Minister with Greek InterVarsity
In a matter of five days, everything that my identity had been resting in, shook up. The snow globe of life was fluttering around a lot of new snowflakes for me to deal with – a new body, vocation, and family life. These are major! Just one area felt overwhelming to deal with, but three all at once? Lord, I cried so much thinking about how I was going to survive.
The next month…
I doubted my decision to leave Greek IV. Not only was that ministry something that gave me so much fulfillment and joy, it was a major source of income for us. How was I going to afford having a baby with such a financial cutback?
I doubted by decision to train as a fitness instructor with Barre3. How on earth could I handle the physical challenge of growing a human inside my body, while caring for other people’s bodies? First trimester nausea was terrifying. Every day I taught a class, I feared that I would puke mid-class. I experienced anxiety about my appearance while teaching in front of a bunch of beautiful Scottsdale women. The hurt and the thought war was real!
I doubted God’s timing of Everett’s conception. I felt knocked down by the physical ramifications that followed those two pink lines. My skin broke out like crazy! Acne all over my neck and face. Depleted energy levels that left only 1/4 of my day to get things done. So even when I felt up to getting out of the house, I was ashamed about how I looked. (LOL – I even grew a unicorn bump at the top of my forehead that kept people asking if I had fallen down.) I was discouraged by the mental impact of the pregnancy hormones. As someone who already takes medication for my mental health, the extra chemical changes in my mind left me confused.
I’m at 7 months and while the past 32 weeks have given me to time to process these challenges, the snow globe is still flurrying around me.
January 2018 resurfaced some of the desires I forgot and inspired a few new ones. Some I’m not sure about, others I know are from God:
- Drinking green tea and exploring all its benefits
- Praying intentionally for others
- Researching how to open a women’s collaborative space in Tempe
- Learning photography
- Listening to daily podcasts
- Connecting with a Christian psychiatrist
Here’s my attempt at follow-through: Making a Green Tea Face Mask to calm down this pregnancy skin – Inspired by Pretty Plain Janes.
Stay tuned for before/during/after photos!